Get Over a Relationshit!

You've lost someone who was very important to you and now you find yourself unable to move on. It's time to get your life back!

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required: 45 minutes a day at first

Here's How! You may feel really low and completely unmotivated right now, but if you can force yourself at first to take these steps, it will get easier!

1. Give your friends a call and setup a time to do something fun.
2. Do the things you used to enjoy but were not able to do when you were dating your ex.
3. Throw yourself into the activities you've been thinking about getting involved in, but haven't had time for.
4. Let yourself be around your ex.
5. If you feel like you want to get back together, repeat steps 1-5.
6. If you're comfortable being around your ex and don't feel the need to slip back into your old relationship, congratulations! You have moved on with your life!

Tips:

1. When a person is in a serious relationship, sometimes s/he may put less effort into maintaining friendships. This means you're going to have to be the on to take the first step in repairing your friendships.
2. Sometimes a person can identify his/herself by the relationship (ex: seeing yourself as 'Ashely's boyfriend'). This can be hard to deal with when the relationship is over and you're left without an identity.
3. Getting over someone is a tough, but you'll learn a lot about yourself and the kind of relationship you want for the future.

And then how to show your ex you've moved on? Here's the tips:

Don't show any signs you care. It isn't unusual to find that an ex thinks it's easier to fend you off with "Yeah, you're great; I still like you a lot" and other unhelpful double-speak that simply means "I gotta get out of here, you are too much for me these days". It is far better to call a spade a spade and not engage in the double-speak. Let your ex know that it's great to see him or her looking so "together" and happy again but do not give any indications of still caring (especially not if you still do!).

Act like you're too busy to notice any attempts by your ex to get your attention or to move you back into past patterns. Your ex might still hanker for you or wish deadly revenge on you but you're above both avenues of possibilities. Knock it on the head with "Knock it off X, that's so transparent and you know I've got a new XYZ to be getting on with. Great to see you but gotta go!"

Flirt with some other attractive person. If your ex tries to woo you in a crowded place despite you having made it clear that there's nowhere for this to go, try a little flirting. Or bring along a friend who is in on this and pretend to be together (same or opposite sex is no matter). Show your ex that you've moved on in the relationship department. If your ex asks after this person another time, just say it didn't work out but you're with Y now. Nothing more irritating to your ex to know you're playing the field!

Keep the conversation short and to the point. Don't even allow your ex to meander down the old paths of love and tenderness. Cut off any waxing lyrical with short statements guaranteed to throw a wet fish on the lovey-dovey stuff.

Find the real you. In order to move on, you need time to yourself to think like,"Who am I? Is this really me?" Spending time on yourself will allow you to truly move on and feel detached from your ex. The more confidence you feel yourself, the easier dealing with confrontations or meetings with your ex will become.

Good luck!